Last weekend was...well, I cant really find a word to descibe how bi-polar, and intense it was. I guess we can start with Friday afternoon when my Brosif picked me up to go home officalily for the first time sense college started. We laughed so hard.. I hate to say it, but I miss him. After we had been home and chatted with the parents... we went off our own ways to see MSHS play their homecoming game... we won 44 to 0. Later I got a call from my father telling me that our cousin had died... he was only 17, a senior at Harrison High School. Died on the football feild, of heart failure. It was the first time his father has ever gone to watch him play. We met up at the hospital, I had never seen so many crying mexicans in my life.... the ER was full of destressed people crying in spanish. The surcurity guard was stumped when everyone wanted to go back to see the preist give my cousin his last rights. Sitting there in the ER writing a poem, I am still stunned. He was such a wonderful guy, no harsh words to be spoken... always smiling, quiet/ shy even, it just wasnt fair. His poor mother... I talked to his younger brother Exaiver... his eyes seemed to empty, trying to be strong for his mother. I keep having dreams about him..
Saturday I went with my mom to drop some things off for the family... walking into that house full of people sitting around drinking and crying, and talking.... I just couldnt stay there. I've gotten close with my mother and father sense I've moved out... I miss them more than they will ever know. Later that night after having dinner with my family, I went out to get my mind of things... Hung out with Amber... she still knows how to get er dun. haha. We had fun.. After most everyone had gone to bed.. I took Gabe home... yeah, thats right, he moved back to the springs and I was soo excited to see him. But things werent the same, and I feel foolish to think that things would be. He will always be my childhood sweetheart, my first love.. but I cant keep running back to him, he nolonger is on the same path as I am. He still has not graduated from HS, and he is working at a gas station... don't get me wrong that will get shit done for him right now... but hes not really going anywhere... while I'm constantly on the move.
I never thought I'd be here, I didnt think I'd make it. But here I am, out of Manitou, out of my parents house, out on my own and loving it. I miss my friends more than anything in the world... I miss knowing I would always have someone to go to when I'm feeling down. tommorw I'm going back down to c springs to get la la and leila because on friday we're going to durango to see stinkypete. I cant wait. For now I'm just trying to keep my chin up and my head clear.